Somewhere between 2008 and 2010 I had bariatric surgery to install a Lap-Band. I honestly don’t remember which year it was, it was a different lifetime. I didn’t really want the lapband, I wanted my then husband to tell me I didn’t need it and my safety was more important to him than my appearance. …
So, Covid gave me Mono. Well, sort of. Let me backup a moment. I started seeing an ND (naturopathic physician) a few weeks ago and began weekly IV therapy. I really like this doctor and luckily my new insurance covers her. The reason I decided to go was because I have been feeling defeated. Nothing …
My childhood was dysfunctional. My eating habits weren’t any different. Being raised by a single father in the 70s and 80s left a lot to be desired in the kitchen. He could cook, especially pancakes… which is why I can’t stand them now. A person can only eat so many pancakes in a lifetime. He …
It is not time for you baby. Almost. But not yet. We love you already. Thank you for taking care of your mommy, she needed to see the doctor and she never would have gone if you didn’t make her. When it is your time to join our family, I promise I will love and …
You entered from nowhere…. just there one day. Noticeably there. I would look for you, just to make myself smile. I never would have allowed myself to be with you, someone so young on the planetary scale. But then I heard your name and a veil fell from my eyes and you became ageless, timeless. …
I don’t know why I decided to give so much of my energy to Mr. Nice Guy. Because he didn’t seem interested? Because he did, but just enough to pull me in and then leave me there dangling on the hook all alone? I don’t know, I did feel a connection, an ease with him. …
I have to give myself a moment to grieve. To grieve the loss of something that was never real. Ironic. Isn’t that how this all started? I thought Robert was someone he wasn’t, I thought our life was something it wasn’t… and now here I am missing Mr. Nice Guy, who honestly just never was …
I feel calm, still, at peace. I had breathwork today and I think this was a very remarkable turning point. Not that anything extraordinary happened, except that it did. We were discussing patience. Patience… The art of doing nothing but sitting back and allowing things to just be. In the past, that would cause me …
Here I sit trying to figure out what the Universe wants from me. The scary part is I think I know. It wants me to give the love I’ve always shared with others to myself, it wants me to learn patience and… the art of not doing. After all of these years I still need …
I hurt. I had an appointment at the dentist that went down the dark tunnel of torture. My face went from completely numb to numb and throbbing. I want someone to care. I want someone to rub my back and kiss my forehead and make that noise that people make when they love someone and …