I don’t know why the Universe decided I actually had to like him. Maybe I just needed a trial, to be forced to stand up for my worth. I don’t fucking know. I know it hurts my feelings. Better now than later. I deserve so much more. Right now I just need to sit with …
They say being alone is okay. That we have everything we need within ourselves to feel joy, bliss… we don’t need another person to make us complete. I’ve always struggled with this. I wasn’t able to see the point of living if you didn’t have someone to share it with. I finally get it. It …
For the graying clouds of anguish behavior Not to see the unchanging and bitterness of your thinking how you see me as a comparison to others, I forgive you For the way you put me down in the midst of being the only companion and support, but never the reassurance or gratitude of my true …
After a lifetime of conditioning I still want a romantic partner. When I can’t find one to suite my needs I try to create him. I give credit where it isn’t due, I overlook flaws and make excuses… screw that. I’m tired of feeling like I’m chasing someone. I am worth more, I am actually …
Yesterday I reacted poorly, and was unnecessarily defensive. It pisses me off. It pisses me off that what he did is still affecting me. That thanks to his damage I am now less than. Less than kind, less than trusting, less than I was. Less alive. It’s not about the other man, it’s about me. …
M called me earlier and asked how it was going with Mr. Nice Guy, I told her I hadn’t talked to him since yesterday when he just dipped again… she said, you need to speak your truth, even if he’s just your friend you would tell me if I did something that bothered you. Okay …
What a wild ride this week has been… It feels like this is the first chance I’ve had to sit still, much less write. A lot has been going on, my youngest daughter and her family have had to move in due to covid related nonsense. I love having them here, the energy is good, …
The other day my brother said to me, “He’s just after one thing”… I know what you’re thinking, that’s not it! My brother thinks everyone I date is a serial killer and they want to cut off my head and keep it in a bag. Okay, that may sound extreme however, I don’t know, he …
I’ve always liked boys… no, I mean really, really liked them. I think most of us hit a boy crazy period during adolescence but mine started wayyyyyy earlier and has lasted till this day. That being said, I’ve also always really disliked them. What?! That doesn’t make sense. Hear me out. I believe my fascination …
I am a terrible person when I’m in any sort of pain. I don’t mean to be, I am just emotional when I’m sick and defensive when I hurt, and when I have a sinus infection I am both. So here I sit, at 4 pm in the dark, watching old Tyler Perry movies while …