silhouette of woman on surfboard in water

Moving On Hurts

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve cried over him. It hit my heart tonight. Knowing that I’m really letting go is painful.

There’s always been a part of me hoping he would prove me wrong. Prove the experts wrong. I wanted a miracle, I wanted him to push past the limits of his narcissistic mind and find a way to love me.

He always acted as though I was trying to take something away from him. That loving me meant I was controlling him. I never asked him for anything. I should have.

He is the one who decided when we became a couple, when we moved in together, when we got married. I just let it all happen, I let it unfold the way he wanted. I gave him control because I was afraid he would leave me if I didn’t.

He knew about my abandonment issues and he used them against me.