The Dark Side of My Mind

I started this blog when my heart was broken and I thought I was going to drown in the pain. This was my outlet during one of my darkest times. However, I’m not in that place anymore and I don’t wish to give my abuser that sort of power. This is my story, my WHOLE story, not just that chapter he visited. I still honor that time, the lessons and growth that it brought. So here is a peek into where I was then. The posts will remain under “The Story”, but my focus will will be on my now and my future. 

I thought he was my forever. 

My first husband, the father of my three children, had just died. Our son was still in the hospital, recovering from the car accident, the accident where he witnessed his father get crushed to death. My children were grieving, one in my bed, one across the world in China, one in Shock Trauma. I was broken, I needed a lifeline and there he was. I had known him for as long as I knew my husband, some girlfriends and I had met them both the night of my mother’s funeral. They were roommates and we all became friends. I thought him coming back into my life was a gift from the Universe to help carry me through this difficult time. He would never hurt me, he was my friend, he was my husband’s friend, he had watched me grieve for my mother, he held my first baby the day she was born… he wouldn’t possibly hurt me. Except that he did.